Like, Dear Diary
by The Flaming Mowl
Summary: Dear Diary, like ZOMG!1 i cant believe im like posting my totally personal thoughts!1! but like EVERYONE has to know about the pure love between me and Dan... because we're like, total soulmates. DUH!1 [fangirl parody  enter at your own risk]
1. Entry 1

**Hello, hello, hello! This is CaramelBoost and Mocha Java Boost! Finally we got a joint account; you know you love us. We're your favourite married couple! ... Other than your mum, of course :D**

Ok, we don't have as much of a problem with this than I originally perceived, but this is really just a parody of all those cast-fic fangirl stories out there. If you're looking for a story with a plot line, then feel free to check out my other fanfics or press the 'back' button, because this is **not** it. This is going to be mindless, and it will have a lot of poor grammar and many fangirlisms.

Also, the idea for this is **not mine**. It's for a very cool ficthor named **Mr. Quality**… originally **Degenerate DX**, who has so awesomely decided to share the plot. All credit goes to him, because he's just cool like that. I'd suggest to go read the original version of this (which is in the High School Musical category) called "Diary of an Obsessive Fangirl". Mine probably won't be as long as his is, because I'll want to concentrate on my more serious ones, but his is really fantastic and long and generally just funnier, so go check it out. (Go on, flee!)

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**For:** Degenerate DX

**Because:** You're just a really sexy guy.

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Like, Dear Diary

Entry One

Like, Dear Diary,

Like, ZOMG!!1 Guess who I am??? Yupp, that's right, I'm Mrs. Daniel Radcliff. Well, not yet anyway, but I will be. Because we're just totally meant to be. I mean, it's like, in the Bible or something because Jesus declared like, all the beautiful people have to get together and have beautiful children because, I mean, who wants ugly children in heaven? No one! Duh!!!1! That's why God said we're going to be together. And you don't want to, like, disrespect the world of Jesus, do you?!?!?

You'd be like, smited or whatever.

And anyway, God wants me to marry Daniel Radcliff. He's just like, the cutest guy EVER in the history of ever and I'm like, the prettiest girl in school. DUH!! That's why we're totally meant to be. I mean ZOMG! Who wouldn't want to marry me?

I know he's meant to like, love that Bonnie girl but I mean, EWW! No way could he fall for her and not me, she's just not pretty enough! She's like, the ugly stepsister or whatever, and I'm like, Cinderella. So of course he's gonna want to marry me. She can't have him. She can marry that Rupert person, because he's like, ugly too, and all the ugly people should like, band together, that way we know where they live and can like, put them in jail or kill them or whatever. Anyway, that Bonnie girl can like, marry that Rupert person but that's like… incense or whatever… no, no that's INCEST, lolz!! But it's ok! I have a solution! They can like, move to Alabama where it's ok to marry your brother and sister!

DUH!!1 I mean, like, I'm totally the most smartilicious person here. And OMG!! So is Dan!! I told you we're like, perfect for each other! DUH! Between me and God, we'll be married next week! It'll be like, the perfect wedding too. I'll have a thousand doves released when the man says he can kiss me! And we'll have a cheese fountain in the middle of the party, with crackers floating around in it, because that's just soooooooo cute! I read somewhere that Dan's favourite food is cheese and crackers! Like, how cuuuuuute!!! I'm gonna call Daniel, like, Dan or "Big D" now because he's just like, way too cool for Daniel. I mean, eww. What were his parents thinking? That's like, Eugene or something.

It's better than Rupert though. Because Big D's just the hottie mchotpants of Hogwarts. DUH! And Rupert's like… his bitch or something. Eww, Big D's way too cool for that wannabe. He just wants to be like Big D, but can't because, like, he's just not beautiful!

And OMG!! I was like, watching t.v the other day and like, Big D was doing an interview! I KNOW!! Like, OMG! He was just so cuute! And like, that stupid fake stupid airhead stupid interviewer person asked like, did he have a girlfriend, and he like, totally said no! It's because he didn't want to admit that he loves me because he like, hasn't met me yet and that tv lady would have thought he was weird. But it would be ok, because you know, like, I love him too! Duh!!1

Well, anyway, I gotta go take a shower and blow dry my hair… Not at the same time, LOLZ! Like, I'm not that stupid!!1

ttfn,

Mrs. Daniel Radcliff

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**Ok, this will never be long. All entries will probably be around this length because my brain just feels like it's melting with each 'like', 'OMG' and 'LOLZ' I type. And I'm doing IB 1 – I can't afford to lose any brain cells. IQ points just dropping all over the place; I feel myself getting more stupid with each entry.**

**Flames for this story are **_**encouraged**_

**Whether for me (-grins psychotically-) or for "Mrs. Daniel Radcliff".**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or any other character in that series. They belong totally to JKR. Nor do I know, have met, or own (much as I would like to) Daniel Radcliff, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Bonnie… (anyone know her last name?) or any other actor(ress) in the HP series I may mention.

And just a side-note, I **love** Rupert Grint, so that Ron/Rupert bashing up there isn't my personal opinion. He's one of my top three favourite characters in the series, and I utterly adore him.

Oh, and if anyone out there is from Alabama, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm from Illinois (well, half of me), so if you have any jokes, feel free to say 'em to me.

Go on, go flame it! xox Caramel


	2. Entry 2

**Please note:** All misspellings are in here on purpose. Including the typo for Daniel Radcliffe's name. There aren't many misspellings, and the ones that are in here are so easily missed; there's a reason for that. :) Thank you for all the corrections though; you're all awesome.

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Dear Diary,

Entry Two

Like ZOMG! My friends and I like went to watch the like new Harry Potter movie today with !!!1!Daniel Radcliffe 3!!!! He had like cut his uberly super gorgeous hair so now we could like totally see his perfect face! With his perfect skin, and perfect facial hair and perfect pores!!! Hes just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Perfect!!!!!!!1!!!!!

But then some stupid, ugly, smelly girl like TOTALLY kissed him!!! I was like HEY BITCH! GET OFF MY HUSBAND! Ughhh it was like totally disgusting and you could like soooooooo totally tell that Big D was grossed out by that skanky whore!! And then that ugly Bonnie chick was like always around him!! I mean she like nearly KILLED Dan! Shes soooo stupid! She like knocked over a whole bunch of shelves! And that stupid RUPERT was still in the movie! I don't get why they just haven't fired him yet! I mean Hello?! Hes like totally bad! Not to mention hes soooooooo not as hot as 3Dan 3!

ZOMG!!!!! Hes sooooooooooooooooo awesomely hottified! Our children are going to be like totally smexilicious because hes like the sex-god and im like THE hawtest girl in school!! Not that stoooopid Amber Jeffers!! She like thinks she even has a chance with Big D!! she must be completely insane to think she even has a chance against ME! Its like totally written in the stars that Dan and I are meant to be together!! We are like perfect for each other! TOTAL soulmates!!

My stooooopid ugly brother keeps telling me how I'll like NEVER marry Dan but I just KNOW I will! I mean hes totally just jealous because hes like not as hot or cool or sexy as Dan is! When Big D and I are married Brent is like NEVER going to come and stay with us because he was sooo mean to me! I hope he grows uglier than he is and is like totally forced to marry that disgusting Bonnie girl! They like totally deserve each other!

Dan and I are soooo going to get married! I mean its soooo obvious cause I was like having this dream last night and I was like sitting in this field of flowers and like suddenly JESUS came and was like "You will marry Daniel Radcliffe!" and I was like ZOMG! Its JESUS! And Jesus was all like "yeah it's me, you and Big D will have beautiful children and be in love forever" I mean like how can you NOT believe Jesus?! He like Invented baked bread!

My friends are like TOTALLY PSYCHED that im going to marry Dan cause they like KNOW that were totally meant for each other! Of course once Dan and I are actually married im not going to be able to see them that much because im going to be FAR tooo busy like making love to him! Because what Dan and I have is special so we don't have sex! We make love! The kind of love that Romeo & Juliet made, except we don't like you know die! ZOMGGG! For like our honeymoon I think were like going to go to Paris and like have a totally romantic dinner then we will Make Love for the first time because im like soooo saving myself for him because its like totally what Jesus would do! And wed like go to this totally expensive hotel but wed like totally get the honeymoon suite for free because were like soooo beautiful together that the hotel dude just COULDN'T make us pay!! Then wed like kiss and whisper sweet things to each other and make sweet sweet love!

Well I have to like go and watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for the 15th time! Dan looks sooo smexy in it!

Ttfn,

Mrs.Daniel Radcliffe

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**Due to the busy time scheduals of Caramel and Mocha-Java, review replies won't be included this chapter. Sorry lovies, but we're both doing full IB diplomas.**

**-The Mowls**


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